Something About Her Eyes
by Beryl Butterfly
Summary: Ten years is a long time to be alone, to be annonymous. Is the past really over, or are the shadowy creatures who watch Lyra from a distance doing more than watching. Has 'the new eve' really saved the world?


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I am only writing for fun and do not have any claim on any character or setting in this story.**

Ten years. I can't believe it has been that long. Ten years since I gazed into the eyes of the other half of my soul. Pantalaimon's fur has changed over the years reflecting the hollowness within us. I spin the thin band of gold gracing my left finger as I gaze at the empty space in the air where so long ago I re-entered my world and said goodbye for eternity to the only one I will ever love.

Our words of never ending devotion echo through my mind. Our promises to meet again in the world of the dead to walk through that final open passage way together. Our promise to wait for the other in that dark underworld till the moment we can be joined once again before our souls dissipate into the earth. To return to that world of huge trees and nourish them with our beings.

Mindlessly I twirl at the golden band wishing once again that it were not an empty symbol. I wish it represented so much more than a heart that can no longer love. I wish it were what I claim it to be. I wish it were his promise to me. Alas it is not. It is nothing but fools gold meant to confuse and dissuade. A symbol of love to make people believe I am spoken for. When in reality there is nothing left but a promise to come sit on this bench once a year at the same time every year and dream of my love. In the hopes that he too is sitting on the same bench in his world dreaming of me.

Empty hopes, I am sure by now he has moved on. Part of me hopes he has, but part of me still begs for him to love me. I wish him nothing but happiness, and for him to be happy he has to let me go. It kills me to wish for him to be in the arms and heart of another. It however is what I must wish for, because after all these years I still love him. He means more than me; he means everything to me.

"Excuse me Dr. Perry," a young woman asks stepping in front of me and blocking the sun's dim rays from sight. For a moment her eyes almost glow golden. I blink twice before staring once again into her eyes. Now a deep sea blue, strange.

"Dr. Perry," She questions a concerned expression creasing her brow. "Are you alright Dr? Do you need me to call someone for you?"

"No, no I'm fine. Just lost in memories." I answer smiling up at the fresh faced student trying to remember where I have seen her before. Oh yes, she is in second year anatomy and physiology; one of my best pupils if I remember correctly.

She looks as if she wants to ask about my memories. All the students have heard rumor of my escapades when I was younger. Most have been considered to be myth if not flat out lies, but there have been many students who have longed to hear the tail. I do not wish to relive those painful and bitterly sweet days with this young girl. I twirl the ring on my finger once again looking off toward the now setting sun. Golden rays stretch toward the western sky from the huge ball of gas sinking just below the horizon. In the air dust catches the light shining like the golden Dust from so long ago. Making my mind stray once again. "It's our anniversary today." I whisper.

The young girl's eyes shine with a golden hue for the briefest of seconds before she looks away with a whimsical smile curling her lips. Her daemon, a small blue bird chirps cheerfully from her shoulder as Pan stalks toward us from a bush twenty yards away a low growl rumbling in his chest. A give Pan a questioning gaze as he approaches stealthily. He has not growled at another daemon since that cursed monkey of my supposed mother disappeared.

"Congratulations," She answers a sweet smile gracing her lips and her blue eyes shining with unshed tears. "I did not realize today was a special day for you. I can ask my question another day. Enjoy your evening Dr. Perry." She walks away with the sunset casting it's golden hue around her the dust motes dancing around her as if attracted to her by some force of electricity.

Watching as she departs my mind wanders back to the first time I saw the city in the sky. My childish mind was so unfathomably attracted to the lights radiating from that city. Pan curls up on my lap his head resting on my folded hands. I stroke his faded fur softly, missing the connection we once shared. I miss being able to know what his thoughts are. I miss what has been.

The evening sky darkens around me as I sit lost in contemplation. The bells of the clock tower peal out eleven bitter rings. It is time to go home. Meandering down the paths of Jordan College toward my small flat ,in the far right upper floors of the main building, I think of all the time spent on the turrets of this campus with Roger as a child before the world grew, before the universe expanded, before it drew me in and drew everything out of me. I allow myself to focus on his face, on Will. I smile at the memory of how his eyes would light up when he was excited. The darkness that could creep into them when he was stressed or scared.

The memory of life and excitement dancing in his eyes as he joked with me or laughed, stirs a much more recent memory. A memory that is very disconcerting. The young girl, the student, her eyes burn in my mind. There is something about her eyes.

"Good Evening Dr. Perry. Nice night out tonight." Steven, the night guard, comments as he walks around the campus on his nightly patrol.

"Indeed it is Steven, indeed it is." I answer letting myself in the heavy oak door of the main hall. Suddenly feeling the weight of the long day on my shoulders as I hike the endless stairs to my flat. Collapsing in bed the moment my door clicks shut behind me. My mind blank. No thoughts of the future, nor dreams of the past shall disturb me tonight. Tonight I will sleep.

Outside my window high against the night sky a silent vigil is held. A vigil that has been kept for nearly a decade. A vigil I know nothing about as I lay sleeping. A quiet voice whispers through the air, the sound disappearing with the distance, but the strength in the words spoken still as strong when they reach my heart as they were when they left the soft lips of the one who spoke them. "Rest my little Lyra. Rest my love."

**AN: If you like it please click on the little box and tell me. If you think its crap, why'd you bother reading this far. LOL. **


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